Eight days ago was the last time she said "I love you Shana with all of my heart". Now my heart hurts so much and this has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced. What is amazing to me though is the peace that has come over me during all of this. My grandmama read her bible everyday and for most of my life she would tell me that she was ready to go home. I have no doubt that she is with her Lord and Savior. During her funeral service I wanted to stand and tell everyone in that church about my grandmama. Each of those that came knew her as a sister, mother, aunt, cousin or friend but I wanted them to know what she was to me. Since I didn't take the time to express my thoughts I would like to do it here. Social media, such as Facebook can present so much evil and unnecessary drama but for now it will be the place that I share my thoughts about my beautiful grandmama, Ouida Johnson.

She was the first child born with 14 other siblings to follow. She lived in a time that working in the fields came before education. Although that didn't stop her from receiving her GED later on in her life. She was the hardest working woman I've ever known. Three hip replacements and yet she would still hop on her lawn mower and cut her beautiful yard or grab her wheelbarrow and walk down to the dirt road to gather dirt for a sandbox her great grandchildren played in at her house. Speaking of great grandchildren I feel so blessed that all three of my girls were able to experience the love she had to share. There were afternoons when she was still able to drive that she would just randomly show up to visit and we enjoyed every moment with her. She cooked many meals for us but my favorite memories were when I was pregnant with my first little one, I was so sick and couldn't eat much but grandmama's chicken and rice, fried corn bread and white peas always hit the spot. She brought me and my first little one home from the hospital and I will never forget that ride with her. I was so scared being a new mom but having grandmama there with me helped calm my nerves.

For most of my childhood I grew up living right next door to her or a few miles down the road. She would take me to church with her and I could never thank her enough for that. She set an example like no other and I hope that I can be half the woman she was while on this earth. The selfish side of me wants her back here with us but I know she is right where she has always wanted to be and I look forward to the day I will be able to see her again. In the back of her bible she had written small notes and verses. One that stood out to me was "Don't worry about anything but pray about everything" so instead of worrying about how life will go on without having grandmama here with me on earth I will pray that someday we will be reunited in heaven.